.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
