Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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