Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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