I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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