did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He felt like a one man threesome
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Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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