What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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