Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
