There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
