Your face is a jimmy john
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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