Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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