I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
