you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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