The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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