I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
