I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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