Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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