Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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