she was so not down for the gang bang
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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