Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm really busy with my period
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