You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
