you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
we have pet lesbian snakes
I need to stop coming to work sober
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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