PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
