i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My bed smells like the plague
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
