My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize