she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
