Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
