she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
