Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
