A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
