Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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