Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
