I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
