I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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