I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
