Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize