Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
