Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
