Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
