Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sorry about my life...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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