So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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