Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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