The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
