I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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