I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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