My brain says no but my pants say off.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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