Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
