if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
