Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
