I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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