I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
