My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
