i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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