I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
