My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
