She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
