how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
