Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
