McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
