we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
