Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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